The Characteristics of an Excellent Greeter.

Last week we talked about the “Ten Marks of a Friendly Church”.  A copy of that article can be found in this blog.  I wanted to follow up this week with the “Eight Marks of an Excellent Greeter or Guest Servant”.  The term greeter is one we are all familiar with, but the term Guest Servant is one we hear less often.  It is, however, a term I believe we need to adopt.  The objective of the person who greets in our church on Sundays needs to be to serve those they meet. 

Many churches are satisfied if they can get a warm body to stand at the door and hand out bulletins.  I believe we can and ought to do better.  It is reported that a Disney World employee/cast member will be required to receive 32 hours of training to be qualified to take tickets.  What we do is infinitely more important than getting people to go along with “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride”.

While there is no one personality-type that will make a great guest servant, here are eight things that a guest servant can do to serve the Lord more effectively.

Smile. 

In certain cultures a smile is indicative of a sense of shame, but in our culture a smile has the potential to change the atmosphere.  Guest servants need to be conscientious to smile.  I heard a great story about Truit Cathy of “Chick-Fil-A”.  At a grand opening, one of the employees was struggling with the rush.  She was not smiling as she had been coached.   Rather than tell her to smile for the customers, Mr. Cathy would come by from moment to moment and say things like:  “You have a beautiful smile”, “You look so nice when you smile”.  “Your smile brightens your beautiful face.”  Before long she was smiling all the time.  Encouraged smiles are more real than those we plaster on. 

Speak first. 

Guest servants need to take the initiative while greeting.  More than simply being at their post, they need to look for opportunities to serve.  Rather than reply, be the first to speak. Rather than wait inside, open the door for guests.  Rather than hand out bulletins, engage the guest in conversation.  Never wait for a guest to instigate the friendship, always be the first to reach out. 

Open personality. 

Get the right people in the right place.  Some folks should not be greeters. Often we will settle for anyone who is willing.  Ralph (not his real name) was a member of a church I served.  He wanted to be a greeter because he wanted to meet pretty girls.  Yes, he was that creepy.  Even if a person is not a creeper, he may not be a great guest servant.  This is not too difficult to figure out.  Look for people who are friendly and warm, people who set others at ease and someone you look forward to speaking to. 

Focus on the guest

I have said before and will repeat that Sunday morning is the best time to ignore our dearest friends.  We have a tendency to want to use Sunday morning as a time to reconnect with our church friends, often to the exclusion of our guests. 

One Sunday our church had a number of guests visit-three couples that knew each other and were looking for a church.  I was a friend of a couple of the men.  After the service, several couples from the church offered to take my family and me to lunch.  I suggested that they invite these new couples and I would join them on my own dime.  Being the preacher, I got away late and arrived at the restaurant to find the five church couples seated together with space saved for my family.  I asked, “Where are the visitors?”  The reply hit me like a rock.  “We didn’t have space for everyone; they’re in the back room.”  Yes, the church club sat together while guests were told in not very subtle ways, “We don’t care about you.”

This is an extreme example, but serves to teach the lesson; Focus on the guest.

Be prepared

Guest servants need to be prepared; here are a few steps that can help: 

·      Be at your post early.  This helps you be at ease in your responsibilities.

·      Know the information about the church.  For instance, where things are and how to access these services.  You may want to have helpers who can escort guests to where they need to go.

·      Good grooming helps you with your confidence, which will help you RELAX.  Back off the coffee; you can drink later.  Please have breath mints.  I was once greeted by a man that must have eaten collard greens, sardines, and contents of the litter box for breakfast. 

·      Look like you are anticipating a great day, don’t look bored, rather give your guest your undivided attention.  A great way to do that is to maintain good eye contact.

Go the Extra mile

Guest servants must take seriously the command of our Lord to go the extra mile.  Guests are going to be inconvenient; they know nothing about our church buildings and they may have no connection to anyone in the church.  Some may need extra help.  Guest servants need to be the kind of folks who like to give that help. 

A single mom approached the church building.  Services had already started and the greeting couple wanted to go find their place in the service, but instead waited for the late arriver.   Once in the door they realized the baby had a dirty diaper that was leaking out.  The five-year-old boy must have had rocket fuel for breakfast and the three year old was insecure, cross, and had become a Klingon, refusing to let go of mom. 

The greeting couple did more than give her a bulletin and point her in the right direction.   First, the husband of the team, engaged the little boy in some playful fun, a simple magic trick in your pocket can work wonders.  With the little guy intrigued they were off.  The wife of the greeting team carried the messy baby so mom could comfort the three year old.  While mom checked the two older kids into children’s church, the baby’s diaper and outfit was changed.  The couple invited the young mom to sit with them in worship and join them for lunch.

They missed sitting with their usual friends.  But what is the likelihood that mom will return to visit that church again?

Discerning. 

People don’t just visit a church.   If an unchurched person comes to church for a visit “out of the blue” you can bet there is a pretty good reason for it.  When people are hurting, guest servants need to have the discernment and the sensitivity to the leading of the Holy Spirit to be prepared and able to minister.  Guest servants need to be in the habit of praying for insight so that when hurting people arrive, they will be ready to serve them more than a bulletin.

Has a spiritual appointment book

Related to the previous, if I were looking for guest servants I would look for people who are constantly having “Divine Appointments”.  I would look for the people who seem to be meeting folks who have spiritual needs and then ministering to them.

If a person is beginning to seek the Lord, if the Holy Spirit is prompting them and convicting them to find a place where they can hear the good news, which do you, think is more likely.  That the Holy Spirit will lead them to a church where they will be greeted by an indifferent greeter or one that will be willing to love and serve them into the family of God?   

That Awkward Moment

Have you ever been at a park looking for a place to have a picnic?  You approach a pavilion and find that it has a party already in progress.  On the one hand you would love to be a part, to join in, but at the same time you get the feeling that this is a private party.  There is no indication that you are welcomed, no sign that says, “You are wanted here.”  You could impose yourself; ask to join in if you are of the imposing personality.  But most of the time we simply go away and look for another place.

That happened to me this weekend, well sort of.  This past Sunday morning my wife and I were unexpectedly traveling.  We were not going to be able to attend our regular worship service.   In order to be in a worship, I got online and looked up churches that were near our travel route.  Having located a church that was only a little off our path and had services about the time we would be passing, we decided to stop by and visit.

We arrived 7 minutes early and noticed that a bunch of people were unloading lawn chairs and setting up for what appeared to be a picnic.  There was nothing about a church picnic on their website. 

We got out of the car and walked toward what appeared to be the front/main door for the church building.  We could not be sure because there was no signage at all except for several signs that forbid smoking on campus.  Jesus loves you as long as you don’t smoke here.

Oddly, there was no one near the front door.  I had noticed that there was quite a bit of activity near a rear/side door.  Maybe they had a secret entrance that was supposed to be used.

When we got to the front door there was no greeter, nothing that indicated welcome, in fact, the doors were locked.  There was not even a sign to indicate how to get in or where to go.  An appropriate sign might read, “If you are not one of us, you are not welcomed here!”

We returned to our car, got in, and went somewhere else.  As we left I did honk the horn just to say, “We got your message that we are not wanted.”  Ironically, their church motto is, “Church name, Where everybody is somebody and Jesus is Lord.” 

Perhaps this church has grown so rapidly that they cannot meet inside any more.  Perhaps they have so many folks in attendance that they meet outside in a picnic like pavilion because only God can provide space large enough for all the people who are part of this church.  But my guess is they are stagnant, dying, and wondering why they can’t grow.   Every church says it is a “friendly” church.  I have never heard any church describe itself as unfriendly or exclusive.  But what many churches, and almost all stagnant churches, mean by that statement is, “We are friendly to the people with whom we are attending church; we are friendly to the people we already like.”

In a world of people who are lonely, hurting, and needing relational connections perhaps the most oxymoronic phrase is, “We are a small, friendly church.”  If a church cares about people it cannot stay small.  If a church is small there is a strong possibility that it is either so new that people have not yet discovered it, or it is only friendly to the people they already have and like. 

Here is the good news: I am a committed follower of Jesus.  My faith in Him is not adversely influenced by this failure.  But if I were a person seeking help with the struggles of life, I would never give that church a second chance.  Maybe this church has a powerful and dynamic ministry in the community, but it sure doesn’t seem so.

Several years ago I coached churches on how to have a positive impression on first time guests.  After doing this for several years I discovered that churches fall into one of two categories.  First, are the churches that gut out how to treat guests by trial and error; they may have needed some improvement but, by and large, guests knew they were welcomed.  In the second category were churches that just didn’t care about guests.  For these churches guests were just something you put up with till they went a way.

If you would like a free copy of an outline I used in guest services evaluation, simply send me an email asking for 10 marks of a friendly church.  There is no cost and no obligation.  I simply ask that you treat guests so well that they will want to be part of your church.

My Error

In addition to posting to this blog I also send these post in an email newsletter.  In my last email newsletter I had a typo in the header.  It read, "I don't believe that Jesus’ last miracle was healing someone who planned to be His enemy."  It should have read, "I don't believe it was an accident that Jesus' last miracle was healing someone who planned to be His enemy."

The header line is something I don’t plan well; duh.  This one I typed in with my mind running a lot faster than my fingers and I made a mistake.  What I found interesting was my own reaction.  I have perfectionist tendencies, something that is very bad for a person like me who makes a lot of mistakes.  I reacted to finding this typo by ripping myself up one side and down the other.  I was furious with myself. Not only had I made a mistake, but I had denied one of the miracles.  I tried to send a follow up email or retraction and apology, but the email server limits me to only one a day.

After I calmed down a bit, I realized that I was living outside of grace.  I was acting as if my typo was something that would some how put my soul in danger.  I was acting as if only perfect performance was sufficient and my failure would be the end of me.  I made a mistake; it was unintentional, singular, and did not reflect my convictions.  I am not sure it was even a sin, but that is a discussion for another time.  But I reacted or over reacted in how I berated myself.

I don’t meant to make light of sin, but isn’t that the point of grace?  Grace is not having to be good enough.  Grace is only grace if it comes to the rescue of those who, by intent or by accident, fail.  Grace would not be grace if it were some how optional.  If I didn’t really need it, then it would not be grace.  And here is the point: I don’t need to excoriate myself for failures.  The gospel of the Old Testament says,

            But He was pierced for our transgressions,

                        He was crushed for our iniquities;

            The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him.

                        And by His wounds we are healed.  Is. 53.5 NIV

In other words, I don’t need to be beaten up for my failures, either by myself or by someone else.  Someone has already taken the beating and punishment that all my failures, from typo to acts of open rebellion, truly deserve.  I will continue to dislike it when I make a mistake; I really don’t ever want to get too comfortable with failure.  But what I do with those failures needs to be shaped by a personal understanding and application of grace.

One of my professors was reported to have a sermon that he would preach from time to time called, “The Campaign Platform of the Gospel: Welfare, Rest and Free Love” taken from Romans 6.  The main points being: 

1.  Welfare, it is undeserved: Know what Christ has done for you on the Cross, v3

2.  Rest, in the finished work of Christ: You are dead to sin, but alive in Christ, v11

3.  Free love, our response to God: give yourself over to God, v13

Good theology always preaches and always has practical applications to life.  So, if you find errors in this treatise, know for certain that they aren’t there on purpose.  And while I will gladly make corrections, I know God loves me anyway.  That makes my failures, both the little typos and the acts of rebellion, easier to deal with.

On an unrelated subject, if you are going to the Catalyst Atlanta please let me know.  I would like to make an introduction for you at this year’s gathering.

Malcus, Islam, Peter and Me

In the last moments before Jesus’ trials and crucifixion, we are told about the last miracle Jesus performed before His death.  We are all familiar with the story.  A detachment comes to the Garden of the Olive Press (Gethsemane) to arrest Jesus.  They have come well armed and ready to take Jesus by force.  Simon Peter, unwilling to give up without a fight, takes his sword, one of two in the company, and attacks the arresting force.  Out numbered and out armed-if Peter was thinking at all-he was most likely hoping to buy a little time for Jesus to make a run for it.   With the element of surprise on his side, Peter draws first blood.  He cut off the right ear of Malcus the servant of the High Priest.   All four gospels record the event, but only Luke mentions the healing, not surprising for a doctor.  Only John, writing much later, names Peter as the assailant, and Malcus as the victim, and that it was the right ear. 

While Scripture is not detailed in this record, we can draw some reasonable conclusions.  We can assume that Malcus was in the van of the detachment, if not the commander, very near the front, hence a convenient target for Peter’s fury.   The mention of Malcus’ name indicates he would have been known, or at least known of, by the readers of John’s gospel.  He is described as a ‘slave’.  In the ancient world slaves could hold positions of leadership. In some cases the tutors and family physicians were slaves.  Perhaps Malcus held a prominent position of leadership in the house of the high priest.  He may have been part of the priest’s personal storm troopers.  John calls him by name 60 years after the event.  He was a known person.  He may have become a follower of Christ and as such was known to the Christian community. 

John made a point of saying it was the right ear that was cut off.  I’ll go out on a limb a little here.  I suspect that Malcus was wearing a helmet of some sort.  Peter’s intent was to cleave his head in two, but the helmet turned the blade and rather than going through the skull, it went down the side of the head taking of the ear.  This would be consistent with Matthew, Mark, and Luke when they say Peter struck the slave and cut off his ear.  This would also mean that it is a strong possibility that Peter was left-handed.  A right side wound could indicate a left side, dominate attacker.  (C.S.I. Jerusalem) 

Jesus steps into what is about to break out in total chaos and mayhem and commands peace and performs the last of His healing miracles.  The swords are put away, the wound is healed, the Savior saves, and 2,000 years later, we are still talking about it. 

Which brings us to the great question that needs to be in every sermon, lesson, teaching, small group or blog.  That question is SO WHAT?  Before I answer that let’s recap.

A.     Malcus is not a good guy; he may even be a very bad man.  He is under orders of a wicked power to go and take an innocent man so that unspeakable evil can be perpetrated against him. 

B.     Peter is a loyal good hearted, but frightfully misguided friend, who, without understanding God’s plan, takes matters in his own hand and attempts to find a power/military solution.  His actions were opposite of what would effect the purposes of Christ.  While his protective instincts are admirable he was working out of fear not faith. 

C.     Jesus was the only solution.  He did not make the problem go away; He walked into the mess and there God’s greatest will was accomplished.

SO WHAT?

I believe we’re experiencing a monumental moment in history.  If you get beyond the politics and the attempts to aggrandize one position over another, the influx of Muslim people to Europe and the U.S. is a dramatic moment.  Let’s be honest, some where between the positions of, “These are all innocent little lambs looking for a safe place to live in peace” and, “This is a military invasion invited in by enemies in high places” there is the truth.  If I was in Syria and lived under the regime of Assad, I would do anything I could to get to America and I am a nice guy.  But it is naïve to say that in the midst of all those people that there are no terrorist and very bad men. 

If I equate the coming of thousands of Muslims to America to the coming of Malcus to the garden, am I more apt to be like Peter or Jesus?  Yes, I know there are possibly terrorists in their midst.  Simon the Zealot was a terrorist; that is what ‘zealot’ meant.  Saul of Tarsus was a terrorist.  He did terrible things and terrorized the early church.  There have been a lot of really bad people who have become great heroes of the faith. 

I am not advocating carelessness in immigration policy nor opening up our country to known terrorists and criminals.  But I have heard a great many Christian people talk about meeting with force those who are coming here.  I have heard very little about meeting these people with the good news of Jesus, with acts of compassion, with prayer and ministry.  I do believe Islam is powerful.  I believe Islam is demonically inspired and evil.  But I also believe that those who die in Islam without the hope of the Cross are bound for an eternity separated from God.   And that is a horror I would not wish on any person no matter how evil they may be.

I have made a point of praying for Islamic people coming to the U.S. to have the opportunity to hear the Gospel.  I am looking for places where I can interact with Muslims so that I might by any means reach some.  Will you join me in praying for the mission field that is coming to us?  Will you let me know of any ministry or organization that is attempting to evangelize these people? 

How like our God it would be, if tens of thousands of “Muslim invaders” come here, discover Christ’s salvation and then return to their homeland as missionaries of Grace!

Finding still waters

St. Augustine said, “the hills drive back the water, but the valley is filled by it.”

We really don’t like living in the low points of life.  We would prefer to live on the mountaintop; we would rather constantly experience the high moments of life.   But have you ever noticed that you never find a lake on the side of a mountain?  You can never find the quiet waters on a cliff face.  When David wrote, “He leads me beside still waters”, he was operating on the presumption that he was in the valley.

It is in the low points of life that we grow the most.  As much as we may love the emotional high we get in a mountain top experience, that is not where our faith grows.  Our faith grows in the fertile soil of the lowlands.  In the low lands the sunrise is later and shadows of the evening come sooner. In the valley there is more darkness, the nights seem longer and at times colder.  In the valley we may not experience the refreshing breeze, and the humidity seems to linger; it is not the pleasant place of the mountaintop with its cool air and fresh breeze.  Uncle Screwtape explained to his nephew Wormwood the Law of Undulation.  Our Heavenly Father allows His dear children to go through low points or troughs so they will love Him more deeply and love Him for himself.  Screwtape points out that God’s most beloved children experienced some of the longest low points.

My natural reaction is to want to get out of the valley, to constantly be trying to find some mountain to climb, to even generate a false emotional high over things trivial just to get away from the valley.   Last night, as I fell asleep, my mind was tumbling over thoughts about a ministry and how it could work.  I rolled around ideas of this tool working to reach these people.  What a great joy it would be to do this, or that or another thing.  I don’t suppose it is evil to ‘day dream’ about ministry.  But maybe it is not the best thing to do.

Instead, perhaps I need to look for the deep waters that gather in the valley, to drink deeply of the waters of life, to find the still waters and lie down and rest there and listen for the Shepherd’s voice.  Maybe the best thing to do is to look around the valley, see it for what it is, and try to discern what the Shepherd wants to teach me.  

This past Saturday at about noon we buried my father-in-law; a few hours later my first cousin passed away.  For these and for a few other reasons this moment seems to be a valley for me.  My prayer at the moment is not that God will take me to a joyous mountaintop.  My prayer is that I will in this moment enjoy His presence, learn His lessons, and drink deeply from the pool of water that has gathered in this valley.

It is a long way home, but it is worth the trip.

Sunday September 13, 2015

I write this in an airport waiting for a jet airplane to fly me back home. When I got up this morning I had one thing in mind, I was going home.  I had a speaking engagement, but that was secondary.  I was most looking forward to my wife picking me up at the airport and driving home. We have a lot to talk about; we always do, but this time more than usual. 

But getting home is not easy.  First of all, I have to check and recheck the hotel room; I don’t want to leave anything.  Also, make sure that I have the rental car full of gas, so I don’t end up paying $5 a gallon for them to fill it up for you.  Once at the airport, I give the rental car a once over to make sure I don’t leave anything valuable in it.  Check the car in and drag all my stuff through the airport to go get the boarding pass.  Oh great, the flight is overbooked and they didn’t assignment me a seat. 

Now let’s go follow the ritual of the TSA screening: 

Pockets empty?  Check!

Belt off? Check

Pants about to fall to my ankles? Check!

Jacket in the bin? Check!

Shoes off? Check!

Laptop in a bin by itself?  Check

Exposed to radiation?  Check 

Casually groped by a stranger?  Check

Now a race, like when you were at summer camp as a kid: gather up your stuff and put yourself back together.  A quick hike to the gate to sit in a chair designed by the Spanish Inquisition to extract confessions.

As I wait for the flight to the city where I am connecting, the airline is asking for volunteers to spend the night and fly tomorrow.    Without a confirmed seat assignment I am feeling a bit concerned.  I will have to wait for my flight and hope that I get a seat.  Getting home is a hassle; oh, but it is worth it.

Eight weeks ago I asked you to pray for my father-in-law.  We discovered he had cancer.  Yesterday afternoon he made it home.  His was a long trip home, with some important milestones along the way.  Over the next few days we will talk a lot about his life and those milestones.  We will hear and tell again- or for the first time-the stories that helped shape him into a man who loved the Lord, loved his family, and loved to laugh.  These stories will weave themselves into conversations and remembrances, which will come out in tears and laughter, and will culminate in the celebration of his life at his memorial service.

He made it home.  It was a long, and at times, difficult trip.  It seems hard to realize that it has only been two months since he was diagnosed with cancer.  Three months ago we were worried about him falling and hurting himself and about his blood sugar being too high.  We were apprehensive about his driving and his not seeing on-coming trucks or people in his path.  We wondered how long till he would go somewhere and get lost and not be able to find his way home.  As he approached his four score years, we were concerned about his medication levels and his worsening digestion issues.   But he has made it home; he is at rest.  We also put to rest our worries for him. 

This is so like Dad.  Over the years it was always Dad who was the first to want to go home.  It didn’t matter if he had come to our house for the day, or after worship service, or on a vacation, he was the first one in the car and ready to go.  On more than one occasion, mom was still visiting and hugging good-bye while dad sat behind the wheel of the car, motor running, window down and ready to go home.  Dad loved to visit, but he was always eager to go home. 

We are sad, but not for him.  We are sad for what we have lost, not what he has gained.   He is safe at home.  His travels are over; he can rest with the One who loves him.

Dad, we are glad you are safely home.  

Kim Davis, gay marriage, and manipulation

The small community of Morehead, KY, became the center of the cultural battlefield as Kim Davis, Clerk of the Court, refused to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples.   

I promise this will not be about Kim Davis, what she should do, should have done, or what needs to be done.  Nor is this about the media and the courts having an incredibly selective sense of outrage.  In 2012, a gay Texan refused to do weddings for straight couples.  There was hardly a cry, nor even a whimper, from the national media or the Government about an official failing to do his job.  Or take, for instance, the case of Charee Stanley, a Muslim, who took a job as a stewardess.  She knew that serving alcohol would be part of the job.  But after taking the job she claimed that serving alcohol was prohibited by her faith.  She is now suing the airline.  As a nation, we have hit a mother load of hypocrisy of rare and pure quality.   That is all I am going to say about that!

I believe, as is often the case with highly charged emotional issues, it is easy for our passions to run away with us.  Along with impassioned hearts we also need thinking brains.   I am not going to attempt to argue fine points of law, or doctrine, or theology.  There are many who are better at thinking the deep things involved in this case and our current circumstances than I am.  What I want to do is offer a warning about how we are apt to be manipulated in circumstances.

I am concerned that the cause of Kim Davis might be taken up by politicians, publicists, lawyers, or media types and used for their own purposes.  Allow me an example; a candidate is running for office.  This individual is not doing well in the polls.  They latch on to this hot button issue and attempt to become the champion of the cause.  They fire up the masses that feel strongly about the issue in hopes of gaining publicity, campaign contributions, and a point or two in the polls.  Or for example a T.V. or radio personality brings this issue to the microphone or screen in the hopes of getting some sort of scoop or some unique angle that will allow them to have a larger or more dedicated audience.

I am not questioning the motives of everyone who is speaking out.  What I am questioning is how much good it does to obsess about what has happened in Morehead, KY.   Some people will attempt to agitate you not primarily because they share our beliefs or because they are committed to the cause of Christ.  They will do so because it benefits them personally.

Unless the SCOTUS reverses itself, unlikely (see Roe v Wade) or the U.S. Constitution is amended, again unlikely (see Balanced Budget Amendment), gay marriage is the law of the land.  I can, like Don Quixote, tilt at the windmills or I can make a difference.  I do not believe that we as Christians have done a very good job in influencing our nation for Christ.   All of my life I have heard the calls to “take American back”.  As Christians, we have spent millions of dollars and man-hours on campaigns, and printing, and building lobbying organizations to be a Moral Majority build a Christian Coalition or start revival fire to rescue America, for God Family and Country.

Well, how is it working?  The indications are it is not working too well.  We have made some lobbyists rich, built some folks great buildings, and elected politicians that have paid lip service to our faith.  But if our culture is any indication, these efforts have largely failed.

Jesus by contrast stated that His disciples would be salt and light in their world.  With a profound commitment to Him, empowered by the Holy Spirit, and loving their neighbors, the Christians in the first centuries turned the world upside down.  They did so till the time of Constantine, when the church starting working to influence public policy.  Maybe Jesus’ way is best. 

What I am saying is simply this:  hold your convictions fervently, be informed, pray passionately, but when someone is wanting to get you riled up, ask one simple question;  “Will this result in God’s glory or in satisfying their personal agenda?”