The beginning of Worship

This is not a program or proposal for anyone else, it is the insight of one discouraged disciple who has found a bit of encouragement. 

Near the beginning of our weekly worship service we are reminded of the two greatest commandments, to love God with my whole being and to love my neighbor as myself.  Each week I am reminded that I have failed to do either perfectly.  In fact if I am honest I don’t even come close to loving God or my fellow man as I ought. 

I struggle to love those who are closest to me.  I wonder how much of what passes for love in my life is nothing more than an attempt to manipulate those near me to give me what I want.  Are my acts of service to my wife, or children, really acts of love or are they a preemptive quid pro quo?  Do I help around the house because I love and want to serve my wife?  Or do I do it because I expect and want something in return?  We will not even discuss how I treat those I barely know or may not like.  As for loving God with my whole being, do I really?  The inclinations of my heart say emphatically “No”!  I fear that I may be trying to get from God what I want by parroting the motions of loyalty and service.

My guess is that I am a mixed bag of motivations.  Not wholly and completely manipulative and conniving nor completely pure and holy in motivation.  Perhaps I am a little like Job. 

Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him:

but I will maintain mine own ways before him.  Job 13:15KJV

Sometimes we remember and quote the first part of the verse, but don’t recall the second part.  We are a mixture of trust and willfulness, of loyalty and rebellion, of submission and defiance. 

Worship reminds me of my duplicitous heart.  It tells me that no matter how well I fake it with everyone else God knows what my heart is like.  And maybe, just maybe, I will recognize it too.  So each Sunday I ask God to forgive me and to help me in the week to come to grow in my love for Him and my fellow man.  It is I suppose a sort of repentance and reaffirmation of my faith in Him and my lack of trust in me.  I have no ideal what others in the worship service are doing in that moment.  I only know that each week I fail, each week I am sorry, and want to change, and each week I ask for God to help me.  

I regret that in our weekly worship we do not spend more time in meditation in this moment.  I regret that often I can go through the entire gathering of worship and never faithfully and honestly confront the darkness within my own soul.  “Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?”  

But on those occasions in which I see this darkness then light of His grace shines more beautifully. 

The highly unpredictable life of being a disciple of Jesus.

When we think of what it means to be a Christian or a disciple of Jesus, chaos, pandemonium, weirdness, and unpredictability are not the words we typically use.  Our view of being a disciple is often times more associated with Sunday services, praise and worship music and motivational sermons to hang in another week.

But let’s take a moment and examine the record and see if being a disciple of Jesus was predictable.  From the perspective of the twelve disciples we see:

“Hey, look there are two naked men charging at us out of cemetery.”

“Wow, I have never seen a herd of hogs stampede like that.”

“Is that a ghost out on the lake?”  “No, it is Jesus going for a walk.”

“More wine?  Sure, this wedding party seems to have an unlimited supply!”

“Where is the teacher of righteousness?”  “He is talking to a woman of ill repute about water.”

“There is a midget falling out of a tree and Jesus just invited Himself and us to dinner.”  

 “Nice pleasant conversation and suddenly, boom!  A guy on a stretcher is coming through the roof.”

“Go fishing He says, catch a fish He says, open its mouth and take out the coin He says.” 

Let’s face it, following Jesus was anything but predictable.  Every time we see Him going to a funeral He messes it up by raising the dead.  Talk about unpredictable.  I want to ask you.  Is your daily walk with Christ predictable?  Is it a rut of Bible reading at the same time and place, the same prayers offered at mealtime?  Do we listen to the same Christian music or teacher on the radio?  I am not suggesting we need to add novelty to our worship service.   It would be too easy to add a ‘surprise’ moment to worship.  That would to some degree be planned.

What I am suggesting is that we listen carefully and try to discern if perhaps our Master is calling us to do something a little out of the ordinary.  If you perceive that prompting from the Master, act upon it.  The worst that can happen is your boring routine will be interrupted and, at best, you might find yourself living the unexpected life of a disciple.

At the intersection of elections, politics and church

As if there was not enough noise in the world of politics right now, the passing of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia this past Saturday has given the candidates something more to talk about.  One candidate says he will filibuster any appointment put forward by the President.  Others were on the Sunday talking head shows offering their opinion on what kind of judge should replace Judge Scalia.   As if the rhetoric was not high enough already, this appears to be a shot of speed and steroids in the political arm of our nation.

As a whole, this political cycle seems to be more rowdy than most.   Outsiders on the left and the right are haranguing the masses to not vote for political insiders.  Political insiders, while denying that they are political insiders, espouse the virtues of being able to work across the aisle and accomplish governance while at the same time stigmatizing the other party.  Recently, a leading candidate repeated a vulgar slur from an audience member and, tongue firmly in cheek, told her she shouldn’t do such a thing, while, apparently, hoping to make the most of the moment.  It has driven more than a few Christians to frustration.  To illustrate this past weekend a dear, sweet, older lady expressed her frustration by say, “All these politician are a bunch of *$$holes.”  When saintly older women are so frustrated they express it with expletives, things have gotten pretty bad. 

So what are we to do as Christians and church leaders?  What do we do at the intersection of elections, politics, and the church?  I believe we need to lead ourselves, our fellow believers, and our churches to reexamine a somewhat misunderstood passage of scripture. 

We have, to a great degree, misunderstood the meaning of the Psalm 46:10.  We have generally taken these words, “Cease Striving and know that I am God” out of context.  We have made them an invitation to quiet personal mediation, to slow down from the hectic pace of our lives and to read a few verses of scripture.  No one would ever say that is a bad thing.  But the context of the Psalm doesn’t seem to fit the application of quiet introspective contemplation.

Historically, this Psalm is associated with the victory God gave Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20-22.  The theme of the Psalm itself is about God rescuing his people in the midst of international and political turmoil.   When God’s people were freaking out and had the opportunity to go completely bananas, God said,

      “Stop your conniving, and know Me intimately,

        In the middle of all the political conspiracies I will show my glory

        In the intrigues of international affairs I am still Sovereign.”

As our churches stand on the cusp of a national election, we need to remember and remind our people that God is still the Great ruler and the final judge.

Tools to improve your church's giving

Last week I took the week off from my regular newsletter about ministry and spent my time talking about my daughter’s wedding.  I want to return to the subject of successful year-end giving appeal.   By way of review, here are three foundational points you need to have in place all year long if you are going to have success.

We must constantly communicate our vision: “Why on earth has God put us here?  God has a plan for our congregation.”

We must keep attention on our Mission: “What are we doing about God putting us here at this time?” 

We must constantly build Relationships:  “How are we connecting to our members as givers?”

I want to offer some tools and practices that will help you build the currency of trust that will make your year-end appeal successful.  You cannot implement these just before Halloween and expect them to work like a magic formula.  Nor should you apply these as a façade to your ministry.  These practices must come from the core of your being.

1.     Call every person who gives to say “thank you”.  It doesn’t matter if they give $1 a year or if they are your largest giver.  You need to say thank you.  Talk to them about how they are helping fulfill the mission and vision of the ministry.  It is impossible to over estimate the power of gratitude. 

2.     Send a hand written note annually to your givers.  Have stationary printed that is only used by you and write a personal note to say thank you.  The constant act of saying thank you can have a very positive effect on your psyche.   Again it is impossible to over estimate the power of gratitude. 

3.     Get help from your heavy givers.  Most pastors don’t live in the rarified air of the very wealthy.  So asking for help will make your “thank you” more authentic. 

4.     Consider having a quarterly giving testimony.  People who are mature in the discipline of giving have much to teach to those who are not yet mature. 

5.     Focus on giving as worship.  As I read scripture, specifically Leviticus, I see that worship as giving was a practice that occurred in the context of a broader, worship format.

6.     Make giving easy.  If someone wanted to donate a car, motorcycle, or parcel of land to your ministry would you know how to handle that donation?

7.     A successful year-end giving appeal doesn’t happen by accident.  Begin your planning early. If you would like more detailed information just drop me a note and I will be glad to help you out.  (Charlie@colemanssi.com)

We have all heard of Black Friday, more recently Cyber Monday, and now we have Giving Tuesday (the Tuesday following Thanksgiving).  I believe that the season from Thanksgiving to Christmas can be a fabulous time for Christians to practice extreme generosity, but to be most effective, Giving Tuesday needs to come on the heels of a year of relationship building with our church’s givers.

The Happy Moments that Break Your Heart

I am supposed to conclude the blog about year-end giving today.  It is pretty much done; just need to fill in a few details, shorten it, and have my proofreader correct it.  But I am far too distracted to write about year-end giving right now.   It may become a side bar or be postponed till later.  But my heart is not in an article suggesting year-end gifts.  To explain why I have to take you back 22 years this Saturday.

Sometimes you can recall the exact moment you bond with someone, the moment you realized you are hooked.  That happened 22 years ago.  Our doctor had ordered a precautionary test for our baby.  She was fine, but he wanted to make sure.  She was a newborn whose age was more easily measured in hours than days.  My wife was too close to a long labor to go with us, so this young dad held his daughter as a woman in scrubs stuck a needle in the little one’s heel to draw blood.  At the first scream of my little girl my mind told me that this was necessary for the baby’s well being and the nurse was really a nice person.  But my gut level reaction was to want to defend my child, to drive away the attacker, and protect this little helpless one.

The end of the test did not mean the end of the tears and wails.  Being a Saturday, the lab side of the hospital was mostly vacant.  I found my way to a waiting room that was utterly empty and mostly dark, sat down and began to sooth and comfort and pray for my daughter.  The cries subsided, the tears stopped and by the time I was ready to take her home my heart was completely captured.  All my children have captured my heart, but the others did it little by little, this girl did it in one fail swoop. 

Today, 22 year later, she is getting married.  As I tap away at the keyboard tears crowd the corner of my eyes.  My to do list of the morning is still there-call these people, email the people on this list, talk to the home office about this schedule.  But my heart is not really in it.  Monday’s are hard enough anyway, but your daughter’s wedding adds to it exponentially.  Her groom is a music minister and had to lead worship yesterday and next weekend so it is a Monday wedding.  Isn’t there a song about Blue Mondays?  By the way her groom is not nearly good enough for her; no young man could ever be good enough.  A well-educated, devoted, handsome, funny, music minister would sound sketchy to any dad who comforted his newborn daughter.

I know I have to let her go.  She can’t stay home forever.  And she has not always been a delight; there were times I thought about sending her to a convent on the moon.     But last night as her mother and I were getting ready to turn in she came into our room and we talked.  This has been a frequent habit for many years.  The conversation ranged from the serious-marriage is serious-to the goofy, how do you hide the smell you leave in the bathroom (you don’t).  We talked till mid-night and then we prayed and she left.  She will come back to visit, but that is what it will be, a visit.   Today changes everything, her home will be somewhere else, the late night conversations will be with someone else, the person who comforts her when she cries will be someone else.

I am happy and excited for their future.  I expect grandchildren I can hold, comfort, and pray for.  They will face struggles and joys and it is what happens when baby girls grow up into young women.  But a dad’s heart is allowed to be happy and breaking as the same time.  I know this for certain, because right now I am an expert on the subject.  

To maximize impact start early.

 A year-end giving request can be a very useful tool and can have a profoundly positive impact on your ministry.  But if you are going to do it you need to start early, as in now.  Many of your church members make year-end gifts annually and there are dollars in your congregation that will either end up being sent to the I.R.S. or to a tax-exempt charity.  Most folks would rather give to a charity than pay taxes, and if you do not ask for those dollars someone will.  United Way may end up with some of your members’ offerings.  But if you are going to maximize your year-end giving appeal, it needs to be done right.

Failed year-end giving appeals in churches happen for a number of reasons.  Perhaps the most common reason is that churches don’t to see the value of a year-end giving appeal and so they don’t even try.  A year-end giving appeal for your congregation can offer your members a wonderful opportunity to worship in giving during the holy days of Thanksgiving, Advent and Christmas, and bless your church as you enter the New Year.  You need to consider having a year end giving appeal.

A second reason year-end giving appeals don’t work is because they are poorly prepared and presented.  A form letter addressed to “Dear Member”, and asking that they consider a special “Thanksgiving offering” which arrives on November 25^th will likely not get a generous response.  Some appeal letters motivate people to give less and not more.  Worse than no year-end appeal is an appeal that comes across as sloppy and thoughtless. 

One other reason that a year-end appeal might fall flat on its face is that it smacks of self-aggrandizement and greed.  If you send out a letter that tells folks you are so wonderful, listing all your accomplishments in the year and asking for more of their money so you can be more wonderful next year, you deserve to be ignored. 

So what does this have to do with a year-end giving discussion in January?  Year-end giving needs to be a special opportunity to carry on a yearlong expression of holy, wholesome, and Biblical giving.  By developing healthy giving attitudes now when you make a year-end appeal it will not seem like you are trying to sheer the flock between Christmas and New Year’s Eve.   A sound yearlong approach to stewardship that is holy, wholesome, and Biblical will bless any church, weather you have a year end appeal or not.  Here are three foundational points you need to have in place.

Vision: Why on earth has God put you here?  You are not here by accident; God has a plan for your congregation.  Be able to articulate the answer to the question “Why?” simply and directly.

Mission: What are we doing about that?  If God has put you here for a purpose you need to be able to state how are you going to accomplish that purpose.

Relationship:  How are we connecting to our members as givers?  People do not give to anyone or anything they do not trust.  You build trust by the currency of relationships. 

Next week I will take a moment to point out some basic tools that will help you build trust and your relationship with your givers all year long. 

Lesson from Ham Potatoes and Cheesy Cream Sauce

“I don’t like that.” 

“What do you mean you don’t like it?  You haven’t tried it.”

“I don’t like that; I know I don’t like it.”

This was the conversation between my 4-year-old grandson and my daughter.  My daughter is an excellent cook and a great mom, but at the moment she was more aggravated than anything else.  When she was little she was not a bad child, but she was definitely creative and stubborn, which is a powerful combination and her strong will and dynamic personality drove me crazy at times.

Now the role has changed; she and my son-in-law are the parents of a strong willed child.  She tells me the stories of how her son drives her crazy and I just laugh.  Couple of more grand kids and I can get off anti-depressants altogether.

Z-man, that is what I call my grandson, has decided that this new dish is absolutely inedible.  Of all things, she has placed before him a plate of ham and potatoes with a creamy cheese sauce.  Z-man, having never tasted this, has decided that it is beyond his ability to ingest and is flatly refusing to eat.

My daughter and son-in-law have a rule in their home; if you refuse to try a new food, you will see the same food at the next meal.  A challenge of the wills was about to happen. 

“Son,” my daughter begins patiently, “food is a gift from God.  It is one of the ways He shows us that He loves us.  Because of that we do not waste food; instead, we are thankful for this wonderful gift of God.”

“I’m not eating that.”

“Son, this is your supper,” the patience of mom is beginning to wear a little thin, “if you don’t want to eat it, you don’t have to; you can go to bed without any supper.”

“I’m not eating that”.

“Go get ready for bed.”  There remained only a thin veneer of patience over the frustration for a stubborn child.

Now one might suppose that by morning things would have changed.  But even with my daughter dressing the ham, potatoes and cheesy cream sauce with a little bacon, the refrain continued.  “I’m not eating that.”  So went breakfast, and lunch and supper.  That night the family was going to Wednesday services at church, which includes snacks and light foods.  “You can’t have any of the treats at church till you try at least one bite of your supper.”  The anthem of defiance sings on, “I’m not eating that.”  We are now 24 hours into this battle of the will and the boy has not budged a bit.

The next morning my son-in-law makes an executive decision.  He allows the 4 year old to have some cereal for breakfast with the understanding that at lunch he will face the ham, potatoes, and creamy cheese sauce again.  

At lunch my daughter dresses up a drinking straw into a puppet and this puppet dances across the dinner table while singing the praises of ham, potatoes, and cheesy cream sauce.  Now Z-man tries the bane of his pallet and finds that he loves what he has so long rejected. 

So what has this got to do with ministry and the Christian faith?

Many times God places before us opportunities and our response is, “I don’t like that, I don’t want that, I’m not going to do that”. 

Like a four year old facing unfamiliar supper, we get bent out of shape because the circumstances of our life are not what we wanted or expected.   All the while our loving heavenly Father places before us delights that we can’t imagine and all we can do is bow up our neck, redouble our stubborn will and refuse God’s gracious gift.  I wonder how many times I missed blessing because I was too set on my agenda to see God’s great gift?  How many times have I been left with the lesser, rather than the greater option, because I refused to enjoy what was before me?

May God grant us a child like faith to follow His leading and protect us from our own childish stubbornness.