Monday, August 24, 2015

Serving like James and John


A couple of weeks ago, I reported that my father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer.   First of all, let me say thank you for all the kind words of support and the prayers that so many kind people have offered for my family.  I want also to share a brief update.  The news, as is often the case, is a mixed bag of bad news and good news.  The bad news is my father-in-law’s cancer is fairly advanced, being classified as stage 4 cancer.  The good news is that within the last year a new chemotherapy has been approved for his particular type of cancer.  This drug has produced wonderful results and has fewer side effects than most chemotherapy drugs.   So, while we are hopeful, we realize he is far from out of the woods.

This has been very difficult for my wife.  She spent last week with her mom and dad.  In addition to dealing with her own emotions, she had to help her mom in many ways, both large and small.  After 6 days of two-a-day trips to the rehab to help care for her dad and caring for mom in between, she was pretty spent.  She returned home exhausted and ready for some rest.  Let me return to this is just a moment.

When James and John came to Jesus and asked for the seats at His right and His left when he came into the kingdom, I don’t believe they did this flippantly.  I believe their offer was an honest offer of service.  To be prime minister and viceroy in a new government was going to be hard work.  Certainly they had selfish interests, but they also believed they could do the job and do the job better than anyone else available to the new King.  They probably looked at the other 12 and measured their resumes and found them wanting.  Peter was too much of a hot head; Andrew too easily dominated by his brother; Matthew was too much the bean counter; James the runt lacked a powerful presence; Simon had too much baggage from his years as a terrorist; Judas needed to stick to the department of treasury; and so they went down the list comparing their resumes with everyone else’s and came to the conclusion that they were the logical choice for the two, top spots in the coming government. 

I have and continue to do the same things.  I understand that the Lord’s Kingdom is not a political kingdom, but I still recommend myself for the position of higher leadership.  Over the years of ministry, I have sent resumes to churches explaining that I am the best person to lead their ministry.  As a college student, one of my preaching heroes was at Broadway Christian Church in Lexington, KY.  I decided that I should aspire to be the preacher there some day.  I have written sermons, lessons, and ministry programs so that others could be blessed by my great insight and wisdom.  I have wanted to teach young men and women about ministry and how to get things done.  I have wanted to start a monastic type retreat center so Christian leaders could have a place for a deeper walk.

None of these were bad things.  They were and are all positive things that had or could have a positive effect on people.  But they had this one common and unhealthy denominator, I was at or near the center of power and I was making the decisions and telling people what to do.   The week my wife was gone she demonstrated what Jesus was looking for in His followers.  She, even in the midst of her own pain and heartache, served others with grace, joy, and selflessness.  Usually when my wife is away with family obligations she tells me about the moments of laughter and mirth that occur in the day.  There were apparently few of these moments for her, if there were any, they were over shadowed by the weight and grimness of her moment-to-moment living.  Selfless and utterly empty of a personal agenda, she gave.  That is what Jesus calls us all to be and do.

As Disciples and especially as ministers, we tend to want to do the kind of stuff that will look good on a resume.  Maybe we need to have a different tally.  Maybe I should think less about a new book on leadership and more on washing dishes; less about leading a creative worship time and more about doing the laundry from hamper to drawer; less about leading a community of activists to bring about change and more about making sure the car is serviced and ready for my wife’s use.  Dying to “self”, needs to move from my theological concept to how I spend my minutes and days.

Maybe John and James’ problem was that they had a good resume, but they didn’t yet have the good heart of the Lord.


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