A couple of weeks ago, I reported
that my father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. First of all, let me say thank you for all
the kind words of support and the prayers that so many kind people have offered
for my family. I want also to share a
brief update. The news, as is often the
case, is a mixed bag of bad news and good news.
The bad news is my father-in-law’s cancer is fairly advanced, being
classified as stage 4 cancer. The good
news is that within the last year a new chemotherapy has been approved for his
particular type of cancer. This drug has
produced wonderful results and has fewer side effects than most chemotherapy
drugs. So, while we are hopeful, we
realize he is far from out of the woods.
This has been very difficult for
my wife. She spent last week with her
mom and dad. In addition to dealing with
her own emotions, she had to help her mom in many ways, both large and
small. After 6 days of two-a-day trips
to the rehab to help care for her dad and caring for mom in between, she was
pretty spent. She returned home
exhausted and ready for some rest. Let
me return to this is just a moment.
When James and John came to Jesus
and asked for the seats at His right and His left when he came into the kingdom,
I don’t believe they did this flippantly.
I believe their offer was an honest offer of service. To be prime minister and viceroy in a new
government was going to be hard work.
Certainly they had selfish interests, but they also believed they could
do the job and do the job better than anyone else available to the new
King. They probably looked at the other
12 and measured their resumes and found them wanting. Peter was too much of a hot head; Andrew too
easily dominated by his brother; Matthew was too much the bean counter; James
the runt lacked a powerful presence; Simon had too much baggage from his years
as a terrorist; Judas needed to stick to the department of treasury; and so
they went down the list comparing their resumes with everyone else’s and came
to the conclusion that they were the logical choice for the two, top spots in
the coming government.
I have and continue to do the
same things. I understand that the
Lord’s Kingdom is not a political kingdom, but I still recommend myself for the
position of higher leadership. Over the
years of ministry, I have sent resumes to churches explaining that I am the
best person to lead their ministry. As a
college student, one of my preaching heroes was at Broadway Christian Church in
Lexington, KY. I decided that I should
aspire to be the preacher there some day.
I have written sermons, lessons, and ministry programs so that others
could be blessed by my great insight and wisdom. I have wanted to teach young men and women
about ministry and how to get things done.
I have wanted to start a monastic type retreat center so Christian
leaders could have a place for a deeper walk.
None of these were bad
things. They were and are all positive
things that had or could have a positive effect on people. But they had this one common and unhealthy
denominator, I was at or near the center of power and I was making the
decisions and telling people what to do. The week my wife was gone she demonstrated
what Jesus was looking for in His followers.
She, even in the midst of her own pain and heartache, served others with
grace, joy, and selflessness. Usually
when my wife is away with family obligations she tells me about the moments of
laughter and mirth that occur in the day.
There were apparently few of these moments for her, if there were any,
they were over shadowed by the weight and grimness of her moment-to-moment
living. Selfless and utterly empty of a
personal agenda, she gave. That is what
Jesus calls us all to be and do.
As Disciples and especially as
ministers, we tend to want to do the kind of stuff that will look good on a
resume. Maybe we need to have a
different tally. Maybe I should think
less about a new book on leadership and more on washing dishes; less about
leading a creative worship time and more about doing the laundry from hamper to
drawer; less about leading a community of activists to bring about change and
more about making sure the car is serviced and ready for my wife’s use. Dying to “self”, needs to move from my
theological concept to how I spend my minutes and days.
Maybe John and James’ problem was
that they had a good resume, but they didn’t yet have the good heart of the
Lord.
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