A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I was going dark. Well, I am coming back to the light. As you may know Lorie and I closed on the home we have for the last two years been working on, Brookwood Manor . Today, I want to share a few reflections on this experience. I am very glad we did this, but I wouldn’t want to do it again, at least not any time soon.
Reflections:
Renovating a home you are living in is very difficult. Aside from the chaos of living in a construction zone there is the added challenge of not being able to leave the work site. Construction 9 to 5 is hard enough, but when you live in it there is a strong temptation to work just a little longer. Before you know it is 10:00 pm and you still have to clean up, eat supper and get to bed.
Estimates on a project might be better called vague wild guesses. Only one project came close to my guess. In some cases, I over estimated the cost, generally I underestimated. Bidding a project is a skill that needs to be respected.
There are no simple projects. It seemed that to do a project you had to do three or four other things to get set up to do the job. Everything was in everything else’s way. A clear open work space is essential and also next to impossible.
It is easy to get spread too thin. I have a hard time remembering that I am as old as I am. In my mind, I think I can work like 30 year old Charlie. He is gone and isn’t coming back. I would just push on till I wasn’t able to go any further. The cumulative effect of 2 years of working up to the edge isn’t good.
Most importantly, God knows what He is talking about. My formula was to do the work part time as a minister 4 days a week. I would then work part time renovating the house 3 days a week. In my ego I had it worked out this way: ministry was a rest from construction, construction was a rest from ministry. That is what my pride and ego argued. My body, soul, mind and spirit came to a different conclusion. Even before the project ended I noticed that I was less creative, had fewer reserves, was much more negative and likely to be more critical. My beloved noticed I was less loveable and fun to be around.
The Eternal and Almighty God found reason to enjoy His creation on the seventh day. He felt like it was so important that He commanded that we do the same. My formula for rest was clearly a facade that covered my agenda and a growing problem.
I didn’t realize how bad it was till we moved out and did the closing. God gave us a great thing when He gave us adrenaline. But abuse any drug long enough and it will catch up with you. In the days after the closing I realized something was wrong. I’m better now, but the nature of the problems was significant. I got to the point where I was thinking of going to the ER. Chest pain on the left side, down the arm up the neck, stomach pain across the abdomen down both sides of the torso, fatigue that was so debilitating that I could hardly walk, and a back pain from the mid back to the skull. I took a couple of days off and found out how depleted I was. While not fully recovered I now have a plan to restore what was lost. I do not regret our project, and I might do it again. But if I do I am sure I will do a lot of things differently. As Grandpa Lymon says, “Wisdom is just being stupid less often.”
So, let me ask you, and please share with me, “What is your actual plan for rest, renewal and enjoying the good things of God?”
If you want to see the restoration of Brookwood Manor click here. The Brookwood Manor Makeover
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