1 Timothy 1:12-20

 1 Timothy 1:12-20

There is ongoing debate about verse 15 and whether or not Paul was making a statement that was literal or whether he was speaking in a hyperbole. Was Paul literally the worst sinner until that time, or was he attempting to make a point? There are arguments for each side of this dispute, but perhaps there is a third possibility. Perhaps Paul was speaking emotionally. Perhaps he was expressing the wonder of grace in terms of emotion, not in terms of literal description or literary device. 

Part of repentance is to come to terms with the true nature of the sin that defines our lives and nature. Until we realize what an affront our sin is to a holy God, we will never feel the need for repentance at the core of our being. There are two ways of approaching our sin, indeed our lives as a whole. First is to say, “I'm not perfect, but I'm not bad, and at least I'm not as bad as...” Using this approach, we will never come to terms with our guilt and the true nature of our sin. The second way to approach our sin is to say, “In light of God's nature and holiness and His grace and goodness to me, even my best moral effort and condition is like a filthy rag, and at my worst I am the worst possible person.” Repentance is not an emotional event or reaction, but it must have an emotional component. Repentance is not primarily about what we have done; rather, it is about what we have done in the context of God's character and goodness and grace. Anyone who comes to the presence of God and comes away thinking, “I'm okay,” didn't actually meet the true God.

Paul’s life was an explosion of thankfulness for grace; this verse and those that follow express that grace. This is not a bragging contest of sin, nor is it a literary expression. It is a thankful heart cry of love, praise, and worship from one who was, frankly, shocked at how good God was to him. The tepidness or passion of our faith and discipleship will reflect how amazed we are by God's love. Our amazement at God’s grace is a result of our heart’s response and evaluation of our sinfulness before the Holy One.

“Help, me Lord, to have a genuine awareness of the evil of my sin and heart.  AMEN”