The Irony of the Christmas Blues

Charlie Brown voices emotions most all of us have felt at one time or another when at the beginning of A Charlie Brown Christmas he says, “Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy.  I don’t feel the way I am supposed to feel.  I like Christmas, but I am still not happy.  I always end up feeling depressed.”

The Christmas Blues are real, powerful, painful and ironic.  Several years ago, I was ministering in a town that was highly transitory.  Almost no one was from there and very few planned to stay there.  A lot of people were a long way from home.  Just after Christmas I went on a community message board and asked people to anonymously share their experiences with depression at Christmas time.  The response was remarkable.  I received message after message from people who were depressed at Christmas.  Some were depressive by disposition and Christmas made it worse.  Others were only depressed at Christmas.  To deal with their depression some worked through Christmas, some volunteered, some stayed in bed all Christmas day, some drank, and some pretended everything was fine.  One woman wrote me a lengthy email and began to mildly stalk me, even showing up at church services just to ‘check me out’.  My secretary found her creepy. 

There is one common denominator to all the cases of Christmas Blues I have witnessed and experienced: FOMO.  If you are not familiar with the term, FOMO stands for Fear of Missing Out.  It happens to us when we feel that something wonderful is going to happen and we are going to miss out.  That fear of missing out on the great experience will cause us to 1) go to great links to be a part or 2) be depressed if we believe we have missed the opportunity. 

Because of the greatest marketing campaign in human history Christmas has become the apex of all warm, sentiment, emotional experiences.  Lucy may have been on to something when she tells Charlie Brown that Christmas “…is run by a big Eastern syndicate”.  We are told we can have a warm, heart-felt, happy feeling that will last us all year long if we have the right experience at Christmas.  With the right combination of sentimental images, expensive gift giving, quiet reverent meditation, or raucous, office, Christmas parties, elegant decorations and quality family time we can have the ultimate Christmas experience.  We are worked into such a state so that we will be susceptible to spend money or, better yet, indulge in credit.  Already there are radio ads about how to pay off Christmas, credit card debt.  We can never live up to the expectations that are placed on us (or we place on ourselves) for the perfect Christmas.  We live with the haunting fear that we are missing out.  When we fear that we are missing out we predictably become depressed.  Christmas Blues are upon us. 

I began by saying that the, “Christmas Blues are real, powerful, painful and ironic.”  How are the blues so ironic?  How is the fear of missing out incongruous with Christmas?  In the passage beautifully quoted by Linus we have these words,  “And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”   Let’s add some emphasis, “Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”  The message of Christmas is that no one need miss out.  The Fear of Missing Out is the exact opposite of the message of Christmas.

The difference between expectation and experience is either disappointment or delight.  If experience is less than expectation, we will be disappointed.  If experience is greater than expectation, we have delight.  Christ always exceeds our expectation; He is always delightful.  May God bless you with the delight of Christ this Christmas.

Post Script:  There will be no blog next week.  I will be with family celebrating the birth of the Messiah in feasting and worship. 

Just because you are sincere doesn’t mean that you are not terrible.

I was recently consulting with a church about their stagnation.  They had a leadership problem.  Other leaders in the church were aware that there was a problem. To cut to the chase of it all they had a problem person in a key leadership position.  Everyone knew he was the key factor that was keeping the church from making progress.  But when his behaviors became the subject of the conversation there was a unanimous chorus of what a “great guy” he was, how nice, hard working and willing to help, he was gifted, capable, and the first one to show up for work-in a word-he was sincere. My professional and personal experience tends to cause me to doubt the purity of his character and motives, but for this essay we will assume he was as sincere as the wind-driven snow is pure.  In all honesty, there are some cases where sincerity doesn’t mean jack!

Doña Cecilia Giménez is an 80-year-old amateur artist who is very sincere and devoted.  She was distressed that a picture of Christ in a local church was beginning to flake and fade.  So, she took it upon herself to restore the fresco to its former glory.  The result was less than she hoped.  In fact, when her work was first discovered it was believed to be an act of vandalism.   The picture has been described as a “crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic"; prompting the name “Ecce Mono” -Behold the Monkey- a pun based on “Ecce Homo” the work’s original title.  All the sincerity in the world could never compensate for a genuine lack of skill, talent and training.  Compared to Ms. Giménez, Adolf Hitler was an artistic genius.  Somehow we must find the balance between a good heart while at the same time insisting on competence and not allowing sincerity to be an excuse for poor quality.

If we do not find that sweet spot, we will end up with poorly led churches that will never fulfill the great commission.  Thankfully, we are all capable of change.  The evil heart can be converted and the unskilled hand can be trained.  But until that happens we must never allow great skill to over shadow an evil heart nor allow sincerity to set loose a clumsy hand. 

What Redneck Wisdom can teach us about discipleship.

Sometimes Redneck sayings can teach us somethings about being a disciple.  In Jesus’ last teaching on Earth (John 16:25-33) we may have such a moment.  This is the last teaching of Jesus. The next chapter is Jesus' Priestly prayer, and then it's to the Garden, the trials, and the cross. In this passage Jesus gets to the core of our struggle in faith. "...For the Father himself loves you...” There is more difficulty with these words than we care to admit, imagine, or accept.   The love of God towards us is the fundamental point of our faith.  “For God so loved the world...” But there is a change in this passage. In John 3:16, Jesus used the word Agape for love. Agape is the self-sacrificing love for the well being of the other. God loves the pedophile and the pimp.  God loves the lust-filled adulteress and the drug lord.  He loves the liar and the thief. He loves them so much that He gives His Son as a sacrifice for them and for us. But the word love here is different. The word here is Philia.  It is the word for the love of a friend. Being a friend of God is different from being the object of His salvation, sacrificial love.

 God wants to be with us, He likes us; our company and doing stuff with us are delightful to Him. This frankly is hard for us to wrap our minds around. We have no trouble seeing God as the holy judge who punishes sin. We have very little trouble seeing God as one who saves us by the cross, motivated by Agape.   But God as a friend who wants to be rolling through life with us?   That's harder for us to comprehend. When we struggle with hardships and frustrations, failures, and questions, we wonder why God doesn't come riding in on a charger and save the day. Perhaps, that is the wrong image, the wrong way for us to think about God.

 Like all analogies this one will break down if pressed too hard. But hear me out. There is a redneck saying that goes, “A good friend will come and bail you out of jail in the middle of the night.  A great friend will be sitting beside you saying, ‘Man, wasn't that great’?” We tend to think of God as a friend who will come and post the bail and sign us out of jail. But He wants to be the one who is in jail with us. Now, only a fool would propose that we should engage in riotous behavior that lands us in jail. But the best times of life are the times of high-risk shared with friends. Close companionship plus difficulty or suffering equals a bond closer than all others. I have read numerous accounts of men who have fought wars together.  They report a bond that is closer than the bond of family.  Sports teams that survive the trials that are the hardest have friendships that last the longest.

Perhaps the struggle with being a friend of God is because we play it too safe. We risk too little so that we will never struggle. Maybe what we need is not more cushions on our pews or better climate control in our sanctuary, or nicer music in our ears.  Maybe what we need is more blood on our knuckles, more sweat in our armpits and more adrenaline in our blood.  In our grasping for security at home, at church, and in life we have removed the very thing that will help us understand God as a friend.  Jesus concluded his teaching on Earth by saying, “In this world you will have tribulation, but take courage I have overcome the world.”  We work really hard at trying to avoid tribulation.  So our friendship with God is bland and inspired.  Maybe we should engage in those Kingdom things where we may get bloodied but we will walk away saying, “Man, was that great or what?”