What we can learn from “The Adulteress Wife.”

Albert Camus’ depressing short story, “The Adulteress Wife,” tells the story of a woman who is dissatisfied with life.  She finds her husband, with whom she is traveling on a business trip, to be a bore that is more interested in business than marriage.  He is generous and provides for her, but she finds no excitement about life and with him.  She considers herself attractive and is pleased with her body, and is perhaps a little excited by the attention she receives from a man in uniform, although she does not find him attractive.  Her domestic life, centered around her home above their shop, is her preferred place, but even that is portrayed in terms that sets one in mind of a prison, not a home.

The life in which this poor woman finds herself is symbolized in the dry, cold, gray, dusty world in which they travel.  In the evening, the couple retires to a cold room and Janine tries to find comfort with her husband, but her sleeping husband provides no spark of warmth.  Cold, inside and out, Janine gets up in the night and goes to the city walls she had explored earlier that evening with her husband.  There in the desert night the beauty of the star-crowded sky provides for her some sense of a spark of life.  But as she stands there, even that fades.  Returning to her room, her crying awakes her husband.  He asks, “What is the matter?”  She replies, “Nothing.  Nothing is the matter, Darling.”

We might be tempted to imagine that this is about the lack of communication between a husband and a wife.  But it is much deeper than that. 

The ancient Greek world was haunted by the concept of “phtheirō”.  It means corruption, as translated in 2 Peter 1.4.  But it comes from the idea of “to pine” or “to waste away.”  With no hope in a life after death, only the gray, shadowy places of Hades, the Greek thinkers lived under the cloud of “phtheiro.”  It was the senselessness and transitory nature of life that bothered them.  The problem was nothing or the nothingness that life offers; if this life is all there is. 

In Jesus, we escape the pining away, the wasting away, and the corruption of life.  In Him, we have an out from the nothingness, which haunts a godless world.  We desperately attempt to avoid the nothingness of life.  We try to find something that will give us meaning in the midst of the meaninglessness.  We assign great importance to things that are truly nothing.   We elevate pleasant pastimes to priorities.  We act as if the events captured by paparazzi make a difference.  We add 100 cable channels to our TV, so that every passing fancy can be explored.  We fill every moment with some sort of stimulus or depressant in a desperate effort to hide from ourselves that all is nothing.  All life is pointless, then we die; unless, we know Jesus. 

“Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received!  We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust.”  2 Peter 1:3-4 The Message

Janine was right; nothingness is the problem.  If you listen, you can hear the heart cry of, “Nothing!” in our world.  It is a heart cry for Jesus, the only solution to nothingness.

  

Conversation with a Millennial

I talk with a lot of church leaders about their church’s ministry; as a church consultant that is what I do.  One of the ever-present questions and challenges that I hear is, “How can we get young people into our church?”  Yesterday, I attended a 60^th birthday party of a friend whose mother is on her church’s board and when she learned I am a church consultant she asked this question again.  

More than a few books have been written about how to engage Millennials in the life of the church.  A Google search of “Millennials in the church” produces thousands of hits on the coming demise of the church because of the mass exodus of young adults from congregations of all denominations and theological perspectives.  I realize that to write about the Millennials and the church is to go over what has been gone over.  I am certain that I can offer no new insight, tool, or resource that can stem the tide of their mass exodus.  However, I can relate a conversation I had with a Millennial and offer from that a couple of suggestions.

This conversation was with a Millennial who is a deeply committed disciple of our Lord, but who is frustrated beyond decent language with what he experiences when attending a local church.  As a single young adult, he still attends worship, but is almost to the point of dropping out because he finds worship so frustrating.  I expected to hear complaints about bad music or dull sermons.  He didn’t mention anything we typically hear in church growth conversations.

To sum up his complaint would be difficult, (this was a long conversation), but we might get close if we described his portrayal of the church as “Passionless”.  Here are a few snippets of what he said:

·      “If you don’t want to be here don’t come!”

·      “All they really want to do is run stupid, out-of-date, programs.”

·      “The Muslim’s are trying to conquer the world; all we want to do is keep the building.”

·      “It is about people at the center keeping power, people near the center trying to get power, and people on the outside not caring who has power.”

While the comments of one Millennial are only antidotal evidence, there is something to be learned here and it is not from what he said.

Let’s begin with this proposition: “Don’t ask, listen!”

Millennials are among the most spoiled generation ever.  Almost from infancy they have been asked over and over, “What do you want?” and their parents have then done back flips trying to give them what ever they want.  Now churches are doing the same thing.  In formal focus groups or more informal ways we ask, “What would you like the church to do so you will attend and bring your kids?”   We need to stop asking, “How can we spoil you so you will like us?” We need to listen to their heart cry.  In all likelihood, they will not be asking for a program, a nursery upgrade, or a Shamisen in the praise band.  (A Shamisen is a three stringed instrument from Japan that looks vaguely like a banjo).  What you will likely hear is a heart cry wanting to make a difference on the issues of the heart.  It may be the conditions of the community, Black Lives Matter, a perceived Islamic invasion of the west, but it will be about issues that are going on in their world they are inheriting from us. Issues they want to see changed.

Second proposition: “Don’t ask them to be like you/us.”

One church leader came to me and asked, “Why can’t I get the young adults to attend …?”  They went on to describe the ‘program’ that they were running.  To be honest it sounded a lot like programs that my parents ran to attract young families when I was a kid.  In my dad’s ministry back in the 60’s and 70’s, he worked hard at reaching young couples and families, and had considerable success.  As I listened to the description of what was being done, I had a flash back to being a 10 year old attending an event that was part of my dad’s ministry.  This is not a call to a new kind of program.  It is a warning.  We must not expect Millennials to become like us.  I am afraid that in many cases we don’t want Millennials; we want Babyboomer 2.0

Third proposition: “Don’t ask if you don’t want to hear.”

 I have found Millennials, at least in person and individually, to be polite and pleasant.  In groups and online there seems to be a different dynamic at work.  But if you talk with Millennials about church, and they love you too much to protect you from the truth, you most likely will not like what they have to say.  If you don’t want to be offended, then don’t ask for their input.  As I listened to the Millennial talk, I realized that 6 years ago I would have been angry, dismissive, and defensive.  I would have argued that he was being disrespectful to the bride of Christ and should practice Christian submission.  But now I realize, it is only when a critique contains truth that we tend to get our feelings hurt.  Not every thing a millennial says is golden, like all of us, they, collectively and individually, have bonehead ideas.  But if you get close enough to have one tell you what they feel, don’t be hurt if they cut you to the quick as they tell you an ugly truth about your dead or dying church. 

This is not meant to be one more hand-wringing article about the demise of the church in America because Millennials are leaving.  The Church will be fine, and I expect that Millennials will return to the Lord in droves; it just will not be the church we are trying to preserve.  

Hurricane Matthew has a great lesson

Hurricane Matthew has come and gone.   Thankfully, Matthew did not make direct landfall while he was at the peck of his strength.  He seemed to be content to roll up the cost doing most of his damage in the form of erosion.  Living in FL means living with the annual reality that this maybe the year you get clobbered by a monster storm.  Every year beginning in April, before Hurricane season officially begins on June 1, we hear the warning to have a hurricane kit ready.   The message is announced over all media formats and is constantly repeated.  State, county, local government agencies, as well as, utility companies warn the residents of FL to make advanced preparations for a hurricane.  These warnings are almost universally ignored. 

For example, last Wednesday while Matthew was pounding Haiti, frenzied shoppers descended on the Wal-Mart in Lake City, FL. Lake City is the first big town you come to when you enter FL on I-75.  Lake City is about 930 miles from Haiti, about the same distance as it is from NYC or Chicago.  These shoppers had apparently not done their advanced preparations.  Candles, flashlights, batteries, gas cans, small propane canisters, bottled water and other emergency items were gone.  Stock clerks were stalked as they came out of the back of the store.  Patrons wanted to see if they had anything worth having.  There was also a rush on pet food, air mattresses, beer, wine and fans.  I am not sure why someone would buy 7 fans (I suppose it was in case their AC went out).  By Thursday morning, some gas stations were out of fuels.  

Please remember that six months ago the authorities repeated the message: “Be prepared.”  Instead, most people waited till the last minute to panic buy.  In my opinion, hurricane Matthew did more to stimulate the economy than all the government stimulus packages in the last 8 years.  Imagine black Friday shopping, with an “80% off” going out of business sale added to a prediction of 4 inches of snow in Atlanta.  Every bread shelf was completely empty.

As Christians we know that storms are coming in life.  We know we will face hard times; there will be broken relationships, there will be sickness, there will be death, and there will be betrayal.  The coming of the storm is not, “if it will come,” but “when will the next one hit and where?”  Personal and spiritual hardship is just like a hurricane on the coast.

We prepare for these future storms by how we grow in our faith now.  But for many of us and for many members of our congregations, we don’t prepare in advance.  When the evil of life comes roaring into our comfortable lives we panic and are unprepared.  Unlike a hurricane, the hardships of life are of a nature that a trip to Wal-Mart will not help. 

If you did not suffer from Hurricane Hermine a few weeks ago, Matthew is coming.  If neither Hermine nor Matthew got you don’t feel left out, the National Hurricane Center has names picked out till 2021.  If you live in one of the coastal states, one of these bad boys (or girls) might be coming for you.  If you have not suffered yet, you will.  My guess is that we all have suffered in the past.  Our task and calling as Christian leaders is to help our people prepare for future suffering by growing a strong faith. 

In the Cause of Christ

Charlie

The following is a bonus and a sort of advertisement for my consulting work.

Thursday night, my wife and I spent some of our prayer time asking God to protect His people in the midst of Matthew.  During the day Thursday, while the panicked preparation went on, I ate lunch with a minister friend.  During the conversation he shared with me that his metal church building is suffering roof leaks.  The screws that hold the metal in place are breaking off and will all have to be replaced.  This metal building is only 6 years old.  Thankfully, Matthew didn't come anywhere near his building.  But what if they faced serious winds?  If the screws break off and the roof leaks in a typical, summer, FL shower, what would happen if they faced major wind force?

This is one of the reasons I strongly encourage churches to use Sprung Structures for their buildings.  As you look at the destruction caused by Matthew, ask yourself, “Would I want to be in any of those buildings?”

In contrast, on March 13, 2015, Cyclone Pam hit Vanuatu with winds of up to 155 mph. Warwick Le Lagon Convention Center was used as a shelter throughout the category 5 cyclone and sustained minor exterior damage.

"The Sprung Structure that you set up at Warwick Le Lagon Resort has been working fine until last night when Vanuatu experienced a category 5 cyclone, Pam. All the guests were housed in the Convention Centre when the cyclone hit, but while it withstood the destructive wind, the structure has sustained only some minor damage with the membrane.”

Tammie Tam, Senior Vice President/Executive Director-Pacific Warwick International Hotels.

For more information go to: http://www.sprung.com/case-study/warwick-le-lagon-resort-spa

Ministry means that sooner or later we will face a storm; if not a hurricane, then perhaps a tornado, a heat wave, or a blizzard.  In addition to the weather related advantages of a Sprung building, there are numerous reasons why a Sprung building is simply the best building option for churches.  As you consider your next building, it is wise stewardship to make Sprung a part of your plans. 

If you would like more information please email me (Charlie@colemanssi.com) or call/text (352-548-4837) or join us for the our Sprung Structure open house:

Thursday, November 17, 2016, at 1:30 pm

At Highpoint Church of God

Lake Wales, Fl.

Dawgs Vs Vols and facing death

In case you did not see it, the ending of the Georgia Bulldogs and Tennessee Volunteers on Saturday was an ending for the ages. 

Here is a brief.  The Bulldogs controlled the game for the first half, the Volunteers for the second.  The Volunteers take the first lead of the game when the Bulldogs’ quarterback fumbles in his own end zone in the waning minutes of the game.  But with 10 seconds left, the Bulldogs score a go-ahead touchdown on a 47-yard pass. 

It is at this point someone, or several someones, forgot that it is critical to end well.

It is also at this point that the stadium erupts into celebration and emotional players pour off the Bulldogs’ bench to revel with their teammate in the end zone.  The refs throw a flag on the GA team for un-sportsman-like conduct. Meaning, the ensuing kick off is moved 15 yards toward the Bulldogs’ end zone.  On that kickoff, a GA player, in his eagerness, is off sides.  After a 22-yard kickoff return, the ball is moved an additional 5 yards toward the goal.  With only 4 seconds left and the ball on the 43-yard line, the Volunteers have time for one play.  If you watch college football at all, or have any sense of irony, you know what happened.  In case you don’t, here is a link for the last 30 seconds of the game. Finishing well

  

This blog is neither to rub salt in the wound of my Bulldog friends nor to praise the Volunteers, but the lesson here is obvious. 

Finish well. 

Had the Bulldogs maintained their composure in the last 10 seconds of the game, the Volunteers might have had the ball with time for one play 63 yards from the goal line.  That 20 yards difference was, in my opinion, the difference in the game.  There are 63-yard, Hail Mary touchdowns, but they are much less common than 43-yard touchdown passes.

This morning when I came into my office, I found a form letter on my desk offering me a $20,000 death benefit/burial policy.  In their offer they used the term “Senior Citizen”.  I don’t think of myself as a senior citizen, neither do restaurants; I don’t get the senior discount.  But it was a reminder that I am playing in the second half.  I feel pretty good about the game so far.  I have sucked at special teams, but done well on defense and offense.  But I am clearly in the second half of play and the fourth quarter will be here before you know it.

I have known Christians and preachers that have played a great first half, but in the second half they have not so looked good.  They replace passion with routine.  They trade opportunity for security.  They stopped learning, discovering, developing and adapting and settled for old books, old sermons, old programs and old methods.  I am in the second half and I have to admit it is a lot easier to rest on first half accomplishments, rather than press on toward a new challenge.  But I know that I am a long, long way from winning.  So I have to learn new stuff.  I have to face new challenges and I have to take new risks.  I will not win every down.   I can only focus on the next play.  So, that is where I will focus.  That way when I finish the game and they close my eyes for the last time, I will hear the words,  “Well done, team mate! Game over.  You won.  Come in and enjoy the victory celebration.”